Random noun: Gum.
Ah, gum, thou sweet, malleable mouth magnificence. How much time in my youth did I spend in thy company? Why did not all my teeth rot?
There were three types of chewing gum favored by my young self.
First on the list was Bazooka, which came with a comic strip featuring Bazooka Joe and his “gang.” And a little one- or two-line “fortune.” In the 1950s, these “predictions” were likely to be grandiose, reflecting the optimism of the age, as in:
You are destined to have great riches and honor, mainly because of the fine power of your thinking.
By the 1980s, however, the fortunes had become more modest:
You will soon receive some good news.
To have friends, first be a friend.
Take time to set a goal today.
The past few years has seen a further evolution:
Don’t even think about trying. You’ll never make it.
We’re doomed, so drink as much as you want.
Then there was the stick of gum that came with baseball cards. This was a hard, powdery strip that cracked upon first contact with the mouth and had to be worked considerably to get into chewable form. This gum was masticated mainly because it was just there with the cards, not so much for taste. Looking at who you got in the cards distracted you from the hard chew experience. Among miscreants this gum quickly found its way to the underside of a desk.
And then there was Juicy Fruit. Ah, Juicy Fruit! Developed by the Wrigley company back in 1893. Wrigley was known mostly for Spearmint, which I could take or leave. But Juicy Fruit was an adventure. It was a jungle cruise down the Amazon. A sky dive over the Grand Canyon.
Juicy Fruit is the gum that finally gets Chief Broom to talk in the movie version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. “Mm, Juicy Fruit,” he says after taking a stick from McMurphy.
That’s just the type of gum that could bring out the voice in a silent one.
In my visits to the corner liquor store and its candy section, I would buy a handful of Bazooka, a pack of Juicy Fruit, and some baseball cards. My other candy preferences were Good & Plenty, Necco Wafers, Three Musketeers, Baby Ruth, and U-No.
The U-No had this light center, like a truffle, not gooey like a Mars bar. I felt like a seventeenth century French king when I ate a U-No. It was not to be gobbled, but rolled around on the tongue.
I’m still waiting for a Sleeper moment for these tasties. In that Woody Allen movie a man wakes up in the future and is being brought up to speed by scientists. They smoke and eat fat and hot fudge sundaes, and tell him, “These were once thought to be unhealthy, precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.”
Which reminds me of Frances Ethel Gumm.
With her two sisters, Frances Gumm was part of a Vaudeville singing act known, unsurprisingly, as The Gumm Sisters. That was until a Vaudeville star, George Jessel, mentioned they were as pretty as a “garland of flowers” but deserved a more appealing name. Thus, Gumm became Garland, and Frances became Judy, one of the greatest entertainers of all time.
The phrase “gumming up the works” goes back to the industrial revolution. Machines took over production and needed lubrication to run smoothly. If oil or something else congealed on the parts, the machine would sputter and the whole works brought to a halt. In the lumber business, tree sap was a culprit, as it could become a sticky wicket in the big saws.
The etymology of “sticky wicket” is beyond the scope of this article, except to say that it comes from the sport of Cricket, which no one understands, even the players.
Chew on that for a while.
Quote of the Week: “Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.” — Samuel Johnson
Truth: It has been shown that if your parents don’t have children, you won’t either.
Anecdote: A middle school teacher was trying to teach the students about metaphors. They sort of got the concept, just not all the way. Two examples from the kids:
He was as tall as a six foot, three inch tree.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Neat bit of trivia about Judy Garland's original name and past! I always keep a pack of Juicy Fruit in my little yellow Volkswagen bug. Feels like the right gum for the cheerful, sunny color of the vehicle and the joy it brings me to drive it.
And you got me to laugh out loud with that closing "Truth". Thanks for being the Juicy Fruit in my morning today, Jim.
Frances Gumm . . . hmm...! My favorite gum was juicy fruit, too. My dad always had a stash at the service station (remember those?) he owned. It was right across the street from my grade school, which made it my first stop on the way home. Juiced me up for the 15 block walk. :)