What Will Drop From Heaven Now?

The penny died. The U.S. Mint has announced it will soon stop making pennies. They say it costs three times as much to make a penny as it’s worth. A melancholy proclamation!

It will no longer be a penny for your thoughts. What now? A nickel? That’s inflation for you.

As the great philosopher Stephen Wright observed, “How come it’s a penny for your thoughts, but you have to put two cents in? Somebody’s making a penny.”

Now nobody will be making a penny. A penny saved won’t even be a penny earned. Piggy banks all over the land will suffer from malnutrition.

What does God think of all this? I mean, every time it rains it’s supposed to rain pennies from Heaven, right?

At least the song “Pennies From Heaven,” written by Johnny Burke back in 1936, is going to last, though future generations will wonder what the lyrics mean.

“What’s a penny, Mommy?”
“Your grandpa says it was a round coin, copper in color.”
“What’s a coin?”
“It’s how people used to pay for things.”
“Could you tap it?”
“No, you gave it to a person.”
“Wow!”
“A penny had a picture of Abraham Lincoln on it.”
“Who is Abraham Lincoln?”
“Okay, enough questions. Don’t you have to get ready to go back to college?”

And what are we going to do with Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck? Are we consigned to endless days of bad luck? This is not the time to get rid of lucky pennies! We need all the help we can get.

At least that lazy brother-in-law of yours will no longer keep showing up like a “bad penny,” though it probably won’t make a “dime’s difference” to him.

What about penny loafers?

I remember seeing these as a kid and wondering whose bright idea it was to stick an actual penny into the slots on each shoe. You couldn’t even see the whole penny, so what was the point? Still, in the 1950s penny loafers became a hallmark of the preppy Ivy League look, along with khakis and oxford shirts. That generation would have been better served by removing the pennies and using them in gumball machines.

Also big in the 50s was the girl’s name Penny. It was derived not from the coinage, but as a short form of Penelope. So many people mispronounced the latter as PEN-a–lope (instead of pen-EL-uh-pee) that Penny seemed a cute and easy alternative.

Kate Hudson won a supporting actress nomination playing a groupie named Penny Lane in the movie Almost Famous (2000). Her name was an homage to the Beatles’ song “Penny Lane,” which is not about pennies at all, but is the name of a street in Liverpool, well known to both McCartney and Lennon, who grew up there.

“Penny Dreadfuls” were booklets printed on low-quality paper. Popular in England in the 1800s, they offered the working stiff some escapism, usually featuring a melodramatic crime plot. Thus, they were the precursors of American pulp fiction magazines, which led to the rise of genre fiction, especially in the mass market boom of the 1950s.

As a kid, I spent my pennies on Bazooka bubble gum. You not only got the gum, but also a little comic featuring Bazooka Joe. Escapist entertainment for kids!

I believe in escapism. It’s one of the reasons I write fiction. I agree with what Dean Koontz once wrote:

In a world that encompasses so much pain and fear and cruelty, it is noble to provide a few hours of escape, moments of delight and forgetfulness.

Boy, does that ever apply to today.

Which is why I insert here a gentle reminder that my new book, DOWN THESE STREETS, is offered at a special launch price of $3.49. This huge collection of my stories is available here. A bit of escapism whenever you need it!

QUOTES:

“Art is the only way to run away without leaving home.” – Twyla Tharp

“It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley